Ask Bernice (advice thread)

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touchmypreciousthings
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Ask Bernice (advice thread)

Post by touchmypreciousthings » Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:13 am

Hi! I was reading the annoying thread, and someone said about making an advice thread, and well i need some advice so i went searching (im a good girl!) and couldn't really find one (unless you count the teenage one) and since we are so lovely and nice and good advice givers, maybe if you have a problem you need advice or guidance, you can come here?

Ok my need for advice is this. I just graduated from uni, and I've put in to do a post grad in primary teaching. Now its firece competition to get into it, and i find out TOMORROW, but the thing is, i dont know what im going to do if i dont get in. Everything sort of lines up and works IF i get in, but i haven't made any plans in case i dont get in. So im really worried....i dont want to work for a year then go back to uni, because i know i never will! I'm jut a little bit scared, and i usually don't like admitting that to people :? Maybe i'm jumping the gun a bit... but still i cant help but think what on earth am i going to do if i dont get in??

sorry if this seems really trivial :? But please if anyone else needs any advice, please post...i will listen and help if i can and im sure all the other lovely girlys will too :)
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Post by Tinkerbell2 » Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:55 am

YAY! Good thread! Wish this was here a couple of weeks ago (I thought my stepmam was cheating on my dad, turns out I'm very paranoid, :lol: , I'm such a headcase).

I can't help you with that one though, I can be ok with advice but when it comes to work or uni and stuff like that, I'm pretty clueless :?

I'm having a teeny crisis of my own actually; I hate where I work, and really want to leave (I'm GONNA leave), and work somewhere else, but I only have experience in working in a solicitors, and I really don't ever want to work in a solicitors again....EVER!!! I was gonna stay there till I buy a house, (I wouldn't have to pay the solicitors fees :lol: ), but I'm only 19, don't have a boyfriend, and am on crap pay, it'll be YEARS till I can afford a house!!!

I had a look on that website (www.reed.co.uk) that Tracy posted, and I can't see a job that'd suit me (not where I live anyway).

I want to do a nursing course, but I can't afford it at the minute. I'm going to try my hardest to keep on top of bills and pay off my bank loan ASAP!!!

Also, I'm a total weed when it comes to seeing people in pain (especially kids). I don't actually know why I want to be a nurse though :? I always wanted to be a surgeon, but I'm lazy and it'll take me years to become one (GSCE re-takes, A levels, Uni).

I've been trying to think seriously about what I want to do with my future, but I don't want to leave it too late! I don't want to hit, like, 30 and still not have made up my mind! I'm prone to changing my mind lots aswell (I'm a gemini, we can't help it!). So I never feel like settling anywhere!

Ooh look at me babbling! I should be in bed.....

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Re: I need some advice!...

Post by T Bird » Sun Jan 08, 2006 11:45 am

touchmypreciousthings wrote:Ok my need for advice is this. I just graduated from uni, and I've put in to do a post grad in primary teaching. Now its firece competition to get into it, and i find out TOMORROW, but the thing is, i dont know what im going to do if i dont get in. Everything sort of lines up and works IF i get in, but i haven't made any plans in case i dont get in. So im really worried....i dont want to work for a year then go back to uni, because i know i never will! I'm jut a little bit scared, and i usually don't like admitting that to people :? Maybe i'm jumping the gun a bit... but still i cant help but think what on earth am i going to do if i dont get in??
Well, you know how I feel about this hun. If the worst comes to the worst, you can take a year out and then return to uni for your post grad after. I know you say that you never will, but I know you. You are strong and you know what you want to achieve and I know you will achieve it one way or the other! So stay positive and keep those fingers crossed! i will be thinking of you tomorrow morning! *hugs*
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Post by ChubbyTubby » Sun Jan 08, 2006 1:10 pm

Tinkerbell2 wrote:YAY! Good thread! Wish this was here a couple of weeks ago (I thought my stepmam was cheating on my dad, turns out I'm very paranoid, :lol: , I'm such a headcase).

I can't help you with that one though, I can be ok with advice but when it comes to work or uni and stuff like that, I'm pretty clueless :?

I'm having a teeny crisis of my own actually; I hate where I work, and really want to leave (I'm GONNA leave), and work somewhere else, but I only have experience in working in a solicitors, and I really don't ever want to work in a solicitors again....EVER!!! I was gonna stay there till I buy a house, (I wouldn't have to pay the solicitors fees :lol: ), but I'm only 19, don't have a boyfriend, and am on crap pay, it'll be YEARS till I can afford a house!!!

I had a look on that website (www.reed.co.uk) that Tracy posted, and I can't see a job that'd suit me (not where I live anyway).

I want to do a nursing course, but I can't afford it at the minute. I'm going to try my hardest to keep on top of bills and pay off my bank loan ASAP!!!

Also, I'm a total weed when it comes to seeing people in pain (especially kids). I don't actually know why I want to be a nurse though :? I always wanted to be a surgeon, but I'm lazy and it'll take me years to become one (GSCE re-takes, A levels, Uni).

I've been trying to think seriously about what I want to do with my future, but I don't want to leave it too late! I don't want to hit, like, 30 and still not have made up my mind! I'm prone to changing my mind lots aswell (I'm a gemini, we can't help it!). So I never feel like settling anywhere!

Ooh look at me babbling! I should be in bed.....
Ooh I'm a gemini too :D

So what kind of job does suit you? Maybe we could help you find an ideal.

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Post by Cazza Lazarou » Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:20 pm

touchmypreciousthings wrote:Everything sort of lines up and works IF i get in, but i haven't made any plans in case i dont get in. So im really worried....Maybe i'm jumping the gun a bit... but still i cant help but think what on earth am i going to do if i dont get in??
Well all I would say is that take one thing at a time. If you get in then that's fantastic, but if you don't then just think to yourself that there must be a reason for it- maybe you'll go on to find something even more amazing to do that you'd never thought of. I've always tried to keep to this way of thinking as it prevents me from turning into a complete nervous wreck about things. Believe me I always jump the gun about everything...going 4 or 5 steps down the line thinking 'what if?' so I know how bloody hard it is if you are that sort of person.
Tinkerbell2 wrote:but I only have experience in working in a solicitors, and I really don't ever want to work in a solicitors again....EVER!!! I had a look on that website (www.reed.co.uk) that Tracy posted, and I can't see a job that'd suit me
Tink, I would say that you should be patient+keep looking. You say there isn't a job you like...but there might be next week, you never know! Just cos you've only worked in a solicitors doesn't make a difference- you'll have loads of transferrable skills!
Also rather than thinking about a specific aim (like nursing or whatnot) really focus on what you are good at/what makes you tick and then explore down that route. At least that way you will enjoy what you are doing rather than enduring it.
(I'm a gemini, we can't help it!). So I never feel like settling anywhere!
Well as a Sagittarius (Gemini's complementary sign- we share alot of traits) I can totally empathise with this. My trouble is that there are so many things I want to do I often lack focus. So even though I currently want to write/direct comedy, be a counsellor, be a teacher, get a qualification in astology, work in theatre-in-education(Ollie!! :wink: ) and about a trillion other things....I've just gotta go with the flow and see what the next opportunity that arises will take me

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Post by eskewedbeef!!! » Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:32 pm

I know there's loads of people with lots of problems so I thought I'd add my own.

At the beginning of September, my Nana died at my house and I was extremly upset, as you would expect. It was the closest death I'd ever experienced in my life, so it was even more upsetting. Anyhow, I don't think I'm getting any better at coping with it. Before she died, I hadn't seen her for a bit as my family moved up to Cumbria, which is a couple of hours from where she lived and we only saw her in the holidays or when she came to see us. So, it's not really sinking in that she's died, which isn't doing me any good. Christmas was especially hard, as I don't think I've ever missed seeing her on Christmas Day. Also, New Year's Eve as I realised that 2006 will not have anything to do with her, nothing of 2006 will be affected by my Nana and she won't affect anything ever again.

Even at school, I think about her and I try not to but things remind me of her so much, I can't help but not! I just get more and more unhappy with every day that passes as it's another day that I haven't seen her and will never get the chance to. I don't know what to do any more. I fell like every time I go forward one, I goo back two.

So, I was wondering, has anyone got any advice on how to cope with it and how to accept the fact that she's died?

Thanks, any help is much appreciated.
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Post by Tinkerbell2 » Mon Jan 09, 2006 12:25 am

:( That made me cry so much! I lost my great nana around this time last year I think and she was the closest relative I've lost.

The only advice I can really think of is to not, not cry, it doesn't make sense when you write it down does it! :? Hmmm, basically, if you wanna cry, cry! It'll make you feel loads better! And no-one believes it at first, but it DOES get easier! *big hugs*

Sorry I'm crap at giving advice but I try :oops:

PS: Cheers for the advice Cazza!

And ChubbyTubby, I've been trying to find what jobs suit Geminis, I can't find the site I found it on before! I'm gonna keep looking though...

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Post by touchmypreciousthings » Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:21 pm

Thank you to everyone for their advice! Unfortuantely I didn't get in, so i've been feeling very :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: the whole day.

There are second round offers on the 20th of Janurary, so im going to hope for the best for them and hopefully go in a see someone, maybe just to get some face to face contact. I'm pretty gutted, but i know its not the end of the world. ITs just disappointment is so hard to take you know :cry: :cry:

thank you again though. :)
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Post by Tinkerbell2 » Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:29 pm

Awwww no!!!! That's crap!!! :( So, on the 20th, is that your chance to get in? Hope you get in if that's what you mean (I'm at work at the mo, I find it hard to concentrate!).

What do you do if you've a really big secret? (hmm, sounding like Ollie!).

I've been told a secret at work, only it's not as secret as I thought, turns out it's been spread around all the solicitors in Hull :o

I'm so desperate to tell EVERYONE!!! I might do yet, not sure. OH GOD, why am I so rubbish at keeping secrets!!!

:-#

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Post by Beast » Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:43 pm

I'm sorry tmpt. I just went through a similar thing. But like Cazza says you have to look at it that there's a reason for it. I hope you get in with the next intake but if not I suggest taking that year to get some work experience. That will put you above those that do get on this time. Employers all want experience. It would be so worthwhile. I like to take things as they come. What will be will be. There are so many options out there. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do my course anyway so although I was disappointed I was also relieved. You should be glad that you know what you want. I am in perpetual confusion. I thought I didn't want to do the course anymore but now I'm rethinking it cos there's just nothing else that calls out to me.

Sorry eskewedbeef. It's no help at all really but time is a great healer as the cliche goes. Grief just has to take it's time and it's the hardest thing in the world. But it will get easier every day. Don't try to forget her. Cry when you need to and always remember all the good times you had.
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Post by Magnetic Weasel » Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:20 pm

Eskewedbeef... I'm so sorry. Reading that post really upset me, and what's worse is I can't really give you any advice. From my personal experience, when my grandad died a few years ago, I never cried at all, and it made everything so much worse. I learnt that trying to forget doesn't work, so I guess I agree with Beast and Tinkerbell: Just take it a day at a time, and cry whenever you need to. Also remember that if I can help you get over it in any way, I'm always here for you. *lots of hugs*

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Post by Cazza Lazarou » Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:42 pm

Eskewedbeef....I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I don't know what advice to give as I have never been through a bereavement myself. As Beast says, the cliche of time being a healer is very true and that you should not try and fight against how your feeling.

TMPT- really sorry to hear that you didn't get in....this time so if there's another round then best of luck for that. Whatever happens I'm sure it'll turn out for the best...even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

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Post by eskewedbeef!!! » Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:36 pm

Thanks everyone for your advice! *hugs all around*

I was kind of bad today, because it's the 4th month "anniversary" of her death, so I've been feeling very low today. I've spoken with my head of year about it, and I'm going to speak to someone about it soon. But, it's OK, not the end of the world.

Thanks again! xxx
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Post by eskewedbeef!!! » Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:20 pm

Sorry, me again!

I've just had an interview for a little job thingy and my friend's applied for the same job, eek! But, I really want this job so here's the dilemma: do I send off a CV and stuff to emphasise that I REALLY want it and hopefully make me more likely to get it, or do I do nothing and just pray for the best?

Any help much appreciated!
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Post by Magnetic Weasel » Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:33 pm

I'd send off my CV, cuz it seems its a choice between doing nothing and doing something, so do something! Sounds like you really want the job, and I'm sure who ever else is going for it will understand!

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